calculating a whole lotta.....

i'm still up. staring at these numbers. wishing they were GREEEEEN (like the refund i wished i was getting) instead of bright red. blah! argh!...

whatever. taxes SUCK. super SUPER suuuper bigtime.

today i walked. a good brisk [4.2 treadmill speed] walk. well... if it were up to me i'd be snailin' it, but i had to keep up with ms. d and her two babies. she walks just about as fast as she talks. fast. i love it. but today i was feeling reallllllly slow. and beads of sweat dripped down my face as i paced my breath with each step, while also pushing the ds playing 4 yr old, who was dragging his toes on the concrete then stroller wheel breaking my stride (why must they always wanna drag their feet?? no fail??). came home and was totally pooped. i don't get it. i ran a good 5 miles the other morning and felt ready to conquer the world, but today.... completely flopped on my bed, turned on dora and knocked out. it was pathetic.

it's when i feel pathetic to my own expectations that my kids kindly remind me of my purpose. i woke to my little man's arms around my neck whispering..."mom. i have a secret." too sweetened to get upset with the r.e.m interruption i responded, "what is it, baby??". "mommy. i love you so much." followed with kisses all over the face. cheeks. nose. forehead. lips. 2 x's over. Ahhhh!!.... like butter i melted. MEL- ted. my self loathing quickly dissipated and i grabbed his small frame and squeezed him til he giggled and squealed to escape my tightened hold. i love these babies of mine. so much so... it sounds grossly mushing and gooey and almost too much to handle. but it's the honest truth.

i grabbed the older kids from the bus and waited for j to get home from work. i decided then that we were gonna have a great day. all of us (momma's can do that ya know. lol!). we went out as a family for dinner, then played in the backyard with the kiddos.



j got in on the fun too...



i love seeing his "playdough" (a name so kindly gifted his dreads by a friend of Moe's) locks in action.

i thought to myself:

who the heck cares about anything else??

RUNNING vs. WALKING... does it really matter?? as long as you're moving. right??

TAXES. pft! i imagined simba, "hah hah hah! i laugh in the face of danger!" (replacing it with TAXES). lol. ok- it's late. i'm amused.

nothing else seems to matter.



happy weekend!!!!